Success

Success

Sometimes, I let life get to me. The struggle of keeping my head above water on days when my PTSD and PPD make just getting out of bed hard, and I have two little people who need me to do nearly everything for them. And it’s not just the struggle to get up and take care of them, but the struggle to be present for them in the way they deserve.

Today, there was a big mix of failures and successes. I am learning that just because I failed at some parts of the day does not mean the whole day was a waste, or that I’m a failure. I’m learning, slowly, to move past the rough moments and enjoy the good ones, even on the days when there are more rough moments than good.

If you had asked me a month ago if I succeeded or failed at a day like today, I would have said, without hesitation, that I failed. I raised my voice more than once. I lost patience many times. There were timeouts and there were a couple yelling matches with my three year old when I forgot to be the adult.

But I also fed the kids three real meals and two non-packaged snacks today. And we had a mini-dance party in my room after I changed the baby’s diaper. Briana and I spent twenty minutes looking at a Mickey Mouse book that is similar to a “Where’s Waldo” book…a find it sort of book, and the look on her face the first time she found something in the sea of objects on the page without my help was pure magic. We used straws for magic wands and had a “magic fight” that mostly involved a lot of giggling and saying “hex, hex, unhex!” Bri went through three outfits today before settling on the perfect dress. The baby shared her graham cracker with me, and giggled like crazy with every bite I took.

I used to feel like all the moments I stumbled as a parent far outweighed the moments when I got it right. But at the end of the day, after I rock my snugly, sleepy, happy 1 year old baby to sleep and get her settled into her crib, and walk across the apartment to my 3 and a half year old’s room to say goodnight, she doesn’t want to talk about the moments we slipped up. She wants to snuggle up to me while I play a song for her on my phone and we sing about taking on the world. She wants me to read her a story and give her a kiss and “Please, Mommy, lay with me just a little bit longer? I need your attention. Your attention makes me happy. How about we read a story?”

Kids are great at moving past the negative and holding onto the good stuff. Somewhere along the way, I lost my ability to do that. My kids are reminding me how. Every day.

Something happened at my nephew’s birthday party on Sunday with Briana that keeps making me smile, because it shows me that, even though I may forget how to “bounce back” myself sometimes, I’m doing an okay job at teaching her how to handle her emotions in a more healthy and constructive way than I do.

Her cousin got a cool ride-in truck for his birthday, but was a little leery of getting in. So they had Bri jump in…well…she’s three. So of course she didn’t want to jump out! I went over and lifted her up out of the truck and told her it was someone else’s turn and set her down in the dining room. She was facing away from me, so I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell from my mom’s face that it was a sad one, and before I could get her turned around to talk to her, she had taken off for her cousin’s room.

I followed her and found her face down on the floor, hands covering her little eyes, crying. I sat down next to her and scooped her into my lap and she put her head on my shoulder and I asked her to tell me what was wrong. Between big sobs, she said that she wanted the truck, and she was sad that it wasn’t her turn. She was sad that it wasn’t her birthday.

I reminded her of her own birthday party, when she got lots of presents, and asked her how she would have felt if someone took one of her presents and wouldn’t let her have a turn. Her crying got quieter, and she said “I wouldn’t like that. And that’s his truck, huh? And I had a turn and now it’s his turn?” I agreed with her. She still sounded pretty teary, but she wiped her eyes and said in a trembling sort of voice, “Mommy, will you just play with me for a minute? I feel sad.”

So we sat there on the floor and played with some of her cousin’s toys, for maybe three minutes. She jabbered at me about this toy and that toy, and how they were her cousin’s toys but we could take a turn since he wasn’t using them. And then she popped to her feet and said “I feel a little better now. Thanks, Mommy.” And just like that, the rough moment was a distant memory, and she was ready to fly off and play with her cousins again, while I trailed along after her down the hall.

My three year old is better at moving past things than I am…my kids are going to teach me through me teaching them. How crazy is that? Life is crazy. But life is also good. And today, I succeeded at life.

One step, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. And each success matters, and the moments I mess up don’t take away from the moments I get it right.

I’m learning. Slower than my three year old maybe, but I’m learning.

 

 

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No More Momster

No More Momster

I had planned on writing another blog much sooner than this, but having two kids really does take some getting used to.

Briana is slowly starting to adjust to not being the only child in the house. She never acted out towards the baby, but she sure as heck let me know she wasn’t happy. There were many days and nights where I ended up in tears, she was acting so angry, and only toward me (not so much toward her daddy). There were at least two “I HATE YOU” statements thrown my way, and both times I had to walk away so she wouldn’t see me cry. But that was a couple of weeks ago, and I feel like she’s getting a lot more affectionate toward me again, especially in the last two weeks. I’m getting hugs and kisses again, hearing “I love you mommy” at least once an hour, and loving every single second of it. I missed her so much. For a while there, I felt like (excuse the drama) I had lost her forever. She was here at home, but so emotionally closed off to me that I felt like my daughter had been taken from me.

But, setting aside the melodramatic statements about lost children, she’s opening up again, and her temper tantrums are slowly losing their intensity and going back to normal not-getting-her-way tantrums instead of her-world-is-falling-apart tantrums. She is showing true affection for her sister and loves to help out in any way she can…which is sometimes not actually particularly helpful. Like two days ago when Chelsea was peacefully sleeping in her Rock n Play Sleeper and Briana decided to “help” by shoving the pacifier into the baby’s mouth despite her very vocal protests. Her heart was in the right place, anyway. Or today when she kept coming over to wipe the baby’s face even though, after the first time, there were no bubbles or spit up to be seen. And Miss Briana is always watching to see if Chelsea has thrown up so she can let me know, “Mommy, she got sick!”

I know that seems like a random thing to say, but Chelsea has acid reflux, which is a new thing as a parent for me to deal with. You’d think that the second time around with a newborn I would feel more at ease, but it turns out not all newborns are alike, and some of them have medical problems that your other child didn’t. Who knew, right? Babies as individuals! What a concept! (Sarcasm…)

This reflux thing is actually sort of scary for me. She doesn’t just do baby “spit-up” that just sort of dribbles out of her mouth and down her front. It’s explosive. It comes out of her mouth with force, and it comes out of her nose, and it blocks her airway and she can’t breathe. We can’t lay her down flat to sleep. I was really bummed about that at first, because I had wanted to co-sleep with her, was really looking forward to having her in the little by-your-side co-sleeper we bought to go in between us on the bed.

But the reality is, you lay this kid flat and you’re inviting disaster. She chokes, and it sounds absolutely terrifying. And when she’s laying flat she can’t clear her airway on her own. I have to sit her up and sometimes hold her on my arm, parallel to the floor, facing down, so she can cough it out. Even in her Rock n Play (which she’s sleeping in because it keeps her on an incline, which we were instructed to do by her pediatrician), I have been woken up many times by the sound of her choking. Sunday morning, I heard her start to choke, rolled out of bed and took two quick steps, sat her up, and watched what looked like an entire feeds worth of milk pour out of her like a faucet. Then I had to listen to her heartbreaking little wail of pain. That’s the worst part, knowing that it’s hurting them.

Sunday night, I literally did not sleep. She was choking and gasping for air every couple of minutes, throwing up and coughing while she slept. I was afraid I would sleep too deeply and not hear her choke, so I stayed up, listening for her. Several times I considered taking her to Children’s Hospital, just putting her in the car seat and going. But she never turned blue, she was getting air, she just sounded awful. So I waited it out and called the doctor as soon as the office opened and took her in today.

She has been on medication for her reflux for a couple of weeks now, and it hadn’t done much for her. The first day or so it seemed like a miracle drug, and then it just stopped doing anything. If anything, it almost seemed worse. After last night, I was scared. Getting her into her car seat, she threw up three times. On the fifteen minute drive to the doctor, she threw up twice more. I knew she was okay, because she was screaming bloody murder, so I kept driving. I just wanted the doctor to tell me she was okay.

It turns out, my little baby Chelsea caught the cold her sister and I had over the last few days. It didn’t even occur to me she might be sick, because she throws up so often anyway. The doc said that her reflux was being exacerbated by the extra mucous and stuff created by the little cold. Briana pretty much only had a runny nose. I had a runny nose and sore throat. I’m mostly over my cold after two days, and Bri is mostly over hers as well. So I’m hoping Chelsea gets over it quickly. When I told the doctor that Chelsea’s reflux hadn’t improved on the meds even before the cold, she upped her dose to three times a day instead of two and said we’d check back in four weeks. She is concerned about the slow weight gain caused by the reflux, so we have to go back for a weight check next week.

Before the reflux started up, Chelsea was in the 81st percentile for weight. Now she’s in the 58th. She is still gaining, but it’s much slower than they want her to be gaining. It’s frustrating and scary, because I know she’s getting enough to eat. They sent me to a lactation consultant to be sure the weight loss wasn’t a feeding issue (I’m breastfeeding). They did a before-eating and after-eating weight check for Chelsea while we were there, and my gorgeous girl ate 3.5ozs in less than ten minutes. The acid reflux is definitely the culprit of the slow weight gain, and it makes me sad.

I know there are children out there who have it so much worse than Chelsea, and I’m not talking about all this to get attention or anything. It’s just new to me. I’m still figuring it all out and learning what helps and what doesn’t. I’ve cut dairy from my diet in an effort to make my breast milk easier for her to digest. If her acid reflux hasn’t significantly improved in the next two or three weeks I’m going to cut soy from my diet as well. (Goodbye Starbucks!) Cutting dairy was rough, as I love cheese and sour cream and milk and…dairy. Cutting soy will be difficult if it comes to that because soy is in A LOT of food. It’s even in some brands of canned tuna! (Who knew, right?) But anyway, moving on to the next subject…

Other than the reflux, Chelsea is a smiling, giggling, happy little baby. She thinks it’s funny when I sing nonsense words and bob my head around in front of her. She loves watching her sister, and loves being in her bouncy seat. Before the reflux got bad, she liked laying on her playmat and had even rolled from her front to her back starting at six weeks…I’m still not convinced she did it on purpose, but it was still cool to see. 🙂 She’s always so alert and looks like she’s just doing her very best to have the world figured out before she turns 3 months old. When she’s not smiling she gets this really serious expression on her face with one raised eyebrow, like “Are you sure about that, mom? ‘Cause I’m not.” It’s cute.

She fits right into our little family. She looks just like her daddy, except for the dimple in her chin. Her smile lights up her whole face. Briana loves her to pieces. So do I, and so does her daddy. Adjusting to life with a toddler and a newborn has been every bit as difficult as I thought it would be, and in some ways more difficult, but now that we’re starting to adjust, I love it. I need about ten more hands, but I still love it. I love how Briana giggles when her sister smiles, and I love that she wants so much to help me with the baby. I love that she likes sitting on the floor next to Chelsea’s bouncy seat and share her toys with the baby, or tell her everything is going to be alright, or tell me “Mommy, Chelsea needs you, she got sick.” (I don’t love that she gets sick, but I love that Briana tells me and cares about her sister.)

I love breastfeeding Chelsea. I love how she settles in and eats with this death grip on my shirt (or sometimes my skin) as if she’s afraid I’ll take the food source away. I love it when she stops nursing to smile up at me. This part of being a mom is new. I pumped and put my milk in a bottle for Briana. She was never able to latch properly, even after having her tongue tie corrected. But Chelsea and I figured it out (after fixing her tongue tie), and now it’s just so…not easy. We aren’t to “easy” yet. But…it’s so comfortable, feels so natural. It is getting easier every day, though, and I’m growing more confident every day. I am really enjoying this part of being a mom. It’s fun to have a new experience even as  a second time mom. 🙂

Speaking of experience, some things are definitely easier as a second time mom. I deciphered her cries much sooner. And when she is seemingly crying for no reason, it’s almost always because she’s tired, and a few rocks from mama, holding her just the way she likes, and this kids eyes are half closed in seconds. I know how to soothe her if she was startled, I know how to settle her in to eat if she has worked herself up, and, sadly, I know what to do when she’s hurting (because of the reflux). It feels good to know what I’m doing this time around. It is always nice not to feel lost.

After those first few chaotic weeks where I was constantly on the verge of (or actually crying) hysterical tears, wanting to pull my hair out, and getting virtually no sleep…I feel like we’re settling in. We’re getting into a routine. I feel like a mom instead of an angry and sleep deprived momster. I am working on not yelling so much (fell off that not-yelling wagon for a while), and watching my tone, since I live with a two and a half year old copy-cat. (I have a…colorful…vocabulary. It isn’t pretty hearing that vocabulary come out of my little one’s mouth.)

Another thing I’ve learned the second time around is to allow others to help me. When I was sick and David had plans on Sunday, I let my aunt and uncle take the girls for the afternoon. I don’t think I would have done that with Bri, I would have felt too guilty and not been able to rest. This time I felt no guilt at all, except for forgetting to kiss Bri goodbye before she got into the car. I can’t be perfect and let go of all guilt, but at least I let them help me, right? 🙂

Figuring out how to juggle two little ones with two very different sets of needs (toddler vs newborn – very very different!), has been an interesting journey these past few weeks. But I’m hanging in there.

I am still learning.

I am still here.

I am enough.

I am Mommy.

And “Mommy” is a pretty awesome thing to be.

Words you wish they wouldn’t learn…

Words you wish they wouldn’t learn…

“No!”

“Stop!”

“Move!”

Oh, dear. She’s learned those words. She’s learning quickly how best to use them, too.

The other day, her grandma bought her a Frozen water bottle, but Briana was seemingly having a tough time getting any water out of it. So I picked it up and tried to take a drink.

Her reaction was about what you would expect any nearly-two-year old’s reaction to be. She got angry and reached for the bottle, letting out a stream of unintelligible Briana Speak. I fixed the straw and handed it back. She took it from me, said “No, mommy! No!” And then went about her business. I had to turn away so that she wouldn’t see my laughter.

We were on our way out the door the other day and Briana planted herself in the middle of the doorway, preventing me from opening it. And she just stood there. In my way. As we were running late and frustrations were already running high. So I very rudely said “Briana, honey, will you just move?!” She did move, and I did apologize in the car for being rude.

Later that day, at the aquarium, two boys kept getting in Briana’s way as we were trying to look at the octopus. She darted this way and that, trying to get around them to see, but they were still in her way. So she said, “Move! Move!” Um, oops? I guess that one is my fault. I apologized to the boys’ mother, but she just laughed and said “New word?”

And then there is “stop.”

Yesterday, my darling daughter hit me and told me to “stop” when I touched one of her toys. And then she did it again. Timeout!

It’s so funny, because, as a parent, I am absolutely ecstatic when she learns a new word. Any word, really! But then there are those words that present you with a whole new set of issues. How do you teach the concept of rudeness to a child baby toddler who doesn’t even really understand what feelings or manners are yet?

I’ve started teaching her what manners I can. Feet don’t go on the table, no talking with our mouth full, food goes on our plate not on the floor…I have to repeat it twenty times a meal, but I’m trying. This other thing though, words…toddlers are just going to say stuff! You can’t control what comes out of their mouths!

I have accepted (if not embraced) the fact that my child is going to royally embarrass me at one point or another (or several hundred times). But I still want to try to teach her to be polite…as far as you can teach a two year old to be polite. So we have started talking about gentle words and hurt feelings. It may not work, but it’s a start…you have to start somewhere, right?

I’m just hoping she doesn’t drop any inappropriate four-letter words any time soon. Hubby and I are both much better about curse-words than we used to be, but I admit that we still swear more than we should. My weakest moments are when I am driving and other drivers are not being very smart. Keep your fingers crossed for me…going from having the mouth of a sailor to having the mouth of a trying-really-hard-to-keep-it-clean mom is one tough job.

Anyway, my point is, expanding vocabularies are cause for celebration. Except when they aren’t. 🙂

Miss B Bee

Miss B Bee

To My Darling Daughter,

Tonight, you woke up twice, crying out for me. I went to you, checked your diaper, offered you a drink. You didn’t need a diaper, you didn’t need a drink. I picked you up out of your crib, and you dragged your blanket with you.

I held you close, and you snuggled closer. You didn’t need anything. You just wanted to snuggle.

I sat down in our rocking chair, and we both got comfortable. You stretched yourself out, with your head snuggled next to my chest, and your legs hanging off of my lap. I remember when you were born, and I would swaddle you up and you would snuggle on my chest and not even reach my lap.

We rocked and rocked and snuggled. I sang your favorite lullaby. You touched my face and patted my arm. Your eyes started to close.

I stood up and walked to your crib. You grabbed a fistful of my shirt. You didn’t want me to put you down. I didn’t want to put you down yet either. Cradling you in my arms, I realized how fast you are growing. I realized that soon, you will be too big to cradle like a baby anymore; in fact, you’re close to being too big already.

You drifted off to sleep, but I held you for a little while longer, watching you sleep. Enjoying being your mommy. Getting my B snuggles in while I can.

I put you back in your crib and tiptoed out of the room.

When you woke up again an hour later, we repeated the process, only this time, we both fell asleep in the rocking chair. When I woke up a few minutes later, you had snuggled your face against mine, and you had your little hand wrapped up in my shirt again.

Since you’ll only be this small for a little while longer, since you’re growing up so fast, since I’m missing too many moments and opportunities to just enjoy holding you…I let you sleep on my shoulder for half an hour before I could force myself to gently put you back in your bed, so we could both get some proper sleep.

It’s the little moments, baby girl, more than anything, that make me so happy, so incredibly grateful, make me feel so lucky to be your mommy. You make my heart feel full, little one. You make mama’s heart happy.

Thank you for the snuggles. Thank you for the loves. Thank you baby, just for being you.

I love you,

Mommy

Playing Pretend, Tickle Monster, and “Tag”

Playing Pretend, Tickle Monster, and “Tag”

I never anticipated how cute and fun it would be to play pretend with B. She loves her little teapot and the plate that came with it with three little treats, the two teacups…she constantly brings them to me and wants me to play with her. She hasn’t quite figured out that she’s supposed to sip her cup and I’m supposed to sip mine though. I’m constantly getting a cup shoved in my face, and if I don’t return the “favor” then I get a very stern “eh!”

I love every second of it.

She also loves pretending she’s leaving with her purse. She puts it on her arm and waves and says “Bye!” and walks away. And then she comes right back and says “Hi” turns around like she’s leaving again and says “Bye.” Repeat ten times (or until she’s bored), and you’ve got the game figured out. 

(Random side note: Last night she was sitting in my mother-in-law’s lap and I said, “B, it’s bedtime. Are you ready to go nite-nite?” She responded by waving at me and saying “Bye” and settling down into MIL’s lap! Like “Okay mom, if you want to go to bed, I’ll see you later!” It was SO cute!)

My little girl loves to be tickled. She throws her head back and belly laughs, and when you try to pull your hand away, she grabs your arm and puts your hand back on her belly as if to say “more tickling!” Today I was tickling her until she was out of breath, and I kept trying to stop, because I was worried she’d like, choke or something, but she wouldn’t let me! I was the Tickle Monster for a good five minutes! She was laughing so hard, and I was laughing, and it was just a good Mommy/Daughter moment. It made me so happy!

B loves being chased right now, it’s like her own little version of tag. She makes sure she has your attention and then she runs away as fast as her little legs can carry her. Then we chase her. And she squeals and laughs and screams, and then when you catch her, she throws her arms around you and gives you the biggest hug she can, kisses you, then wiggles to be let down so that you can repeat the process. 

Her other favorite game is when people are going to go sit down (we all sort of have regular spots in the family room) she races them to where they normally sit and throws herself in their spot and then laughs maniacally like “Haha! I took your spot!”

I love that she is so playful, and that she already has an imagination. It’s adorable!

In other developments, she’s been completely off of bottles for three weeks, and *knock on wood* it’s been a very smooth transition. No crying or cries of “ba ba” at all, really, I was surprised! I got a little teary eyed putting the bottles out in the garage with the rest of her “outgrown” stuff. I can’t believe how fast she is growing up.

The big move is next Friday, the 28th. I’m a little concerned about how the transition is going to affect her, but she seems to be pretty adaptable, so I’m hoping all will go okay. Mainly, I’m worried about moving AND putting her into her own room in one fell swoop, but it’s time, so we’ll just see how it goes. Maybe I’ll sleep in her room for the first couple nights, ease the transition. I’m open to recommendations here! What did you do when you moved your little one to his or her own room?

I’m so excited to get our own space, our own apartment! I’m a little nervous about not having a roommate to share the bills with, but as long as we actually stick to our budget, we’ll be fine!

That’s all I’ve got for today. Sorry it’s not especially funny or anything. I’ve been so distracted with the move and everything lately that I’ve been having a hard time focusing on writing. I’m hoping that once we settle into a routine at our new place that I’ll get some of my focus and drive back when it comes to the blog and my Facebook page. 

Apparently a Fun Mommy

I’ve been neglecting my blog again…

I’ve been neglecting my blog again…

Life has been a little bit crazy lately (when is it not?), and I’ve fallen behind on my blog….again. I humbly apologize…but I can’t promise that it won’t happen again! 😀 I meant to write a 2013 wrap-up post way back at the end of December (a mere 10 days ago, but it feels like a lifetime), but obviously never got around to it. And now that I’ve sat down to write it, I’m not sure what to say. 2013 was a rough year. Not much good was going on. The best thing about 2013 was obviously my daughter…the list of bad things is much longer, but I don’t want to get into that. Let’s TRY to focus on the positive!

B had many milestones in 2013, given that it was still her first year of life. Rolling over, sitting up, scooting, crawling, solid foods, feeding herself finger foods, pulling herself up with furniture, cruising, talking, walking…all of it and more happened in the past year! It’s amazing to think how much our children change in just the first year of life! And I’m proud to say I didn’t miss out on a single milestone – I was present for all of them!

As a Mommy, I’ve had milestones in the past year as well. I learned that it was okay to accept help from people because there is no such thing as Super Mom. I (re)learned that I am not a patient person naturally, but I also learned that if I work at it, I CAN be patient. I learned that I am stronger than I ever knew, and that when the universe throws everything at me at once and tries to beat me to the ground, I keep getting up, keep coming back, and I put on my boxing gloves. (Don’t mess with this mama!) I learned that it’s okay to just need a break from Being Mommy and that I can ask someone to watch her for a couple of hours to pamper myself a bit. I went back to work and (glumly) survived the experience. I lost all my pregnancy weight…and gained six pounds of it back over the holidays!

Ah, enough of that. I am being a scatterbrain tonight and can’t seem to decide what this blog should be about.

B is walking now. She’s getting better at it every single day! She is so proud of herself. Last night when she walked to me from across the room, looked up at me and said “hi mama,” I got a little teary eyed. I couldn’t help it. I’m so proud of my girl!

I am going to try to start writing a blog every week again – call it my Blogging Goal of 2014. This blog won’t be worth much to my daughter (and future children) if I don’t stick to it. I may write a blog about our holiday adventures, but probably not…I’d rather write about “Current Events” rather than past stuff. If I can come up with stuff to write about. I don’t want to bore anyone. 🙂

Oh, I WILL share this before I sign off:

Since D has started his new job, we’ve gotten nearly all caught up with our finances. We still need to finish paying off the balance at our previous apartment complex, but we are halfway there, and everything else is either all paid off or current! The plan is to get our own place again somewhere between March and April at the latest – it may be sooner depending on how everything goes. I am very excited to finally have our own place. Since we’ve been married (aside from 4 months right after our wedding) we’ve either been living with family or had roommates. Five and a half years into our marriage…it’s MORE than time that we have our VERY OWN place again. Be happy for us! 😀 We’re happy.

Happy Mommy

 

 

 

Hello!

Hello!

My daughter officially turned one today! So that means I am a “New Mommy” no longer, and my “MisAdventures of a New Mom” blog is moving over here, to the awesomely titled (if I do say so myself) ‘Mommyhood in Motion” blog. 🙂 Welcome!

Just because I’ve renamed the blog, though, doesn’t mean I’ll stop having misadventures. So have no fear…you’ll still get to read about my bumbling parenting. I just wanted to change the name of the bumbling.

Just a quick introduction for my new readers before I ramble on like I usually do:

My name is Jessica, my husband is D, and our beautiful daughter is B. I blog about our adventures as a family…our good ones and our bad ones! I have plans to expand the blog to include recipes, arts and craft ideas, resources for parents, and various other sub-pages. It may take me a while to get going, but that’s the plan! Now, onto my regularly scheduled randomness.

Today, to celebrate B’s birthday, I wanted to take her to get her picture taken at a local picture studio and take her to a playground to play. I know that’s not much, but she’s having a stellar party this weekend, so I figured that would be enough. Unfortunately, you can make plans but you can’t plan the outcome…

My daughter decided to test out her toddler tantrums today! It was a very trying day, but I still managed to wish her a happy birthday once an hour or so, and to tell her that I loved her about a hundred times. We played, and we napped, and we went about a pretty normal day except for having dinner with my dad (Bri’s Papa) and her staying up way too late.

Her separation anxiety has recently gotten much worse than it used to. She started having it a lot earlier than most babies (at least according to her pediatrician), but lately it’s been multiplied and it’s awful! I cannot walk into another room (leaving her with her dad) without hearing a heart-wrenching wail! Today it was especially bad…I blame myself. I left for work while she was napping yesterday, and apparently she was very unhappy about that when she woke up. Who knew? (Another misadventure moment! Lol.) Putting her to bed tonight was a major event…involving lots of screaming and crying, but we got there in the end.

All in all, though, B’s first day as a one-year-old wasn’t bad. It was good, actually, to spend the entire day with her. And while we didn’t manage her pictures today, we have her scheduled for a photo session on Thursday, so that should be…fun? Interesting? I always meant to have them done a lot sooner than this, but barring the ones Jasmin did for us back in March at my dad’s house (which were AMAZING), this will be B’s first studio shoot. 🙂 I’m excited but nervous…and I have no idea what outfit to put her in, or what D and I should wear…not to mention my limited choices due to my very limited clothing choices that actually fit. Shame on me!

This blog is all over the place, but I did want to mention that I have set a goal to lose 40 pounds and get toned again. I miss being in shape, and I’ve been lazy about it. “I don’t have time” isn’t a legitimate excuse when your daughter goes to sleep at 7:30 and takes two naps during the day.

Thanks for following me over from my old page!

B’s Mommy