Mommy as a Human


Today sucked. There’s no getting around it. David and I were both feeling pretty rotten, and Briana was bored and misbehaving because she was bored. The more she misbehaved the more impatient I was feeling, and the more impatient I got, the more she rebelled.

I tried to get her to nap today. She desperately needed one. After two hours of trying, I had to give up and hand her off to my husband and basically lock myself in my room for nearly an hour to calm myself down. I was at the end of my rope.

Nearly everything led to tears on both our parts today. Even story time, which is usually calming and a favorite time for both of us. But somehow one story at bedtime had morphed into two which morphed into four. And tonight I had to put my foot down after two, because I was exhausted and so was she.

Cue tears.

She threw her puppy toy at me as I closed the door, crying and yelling “Elsa! Elsa!” Because the two books we hadn’t read were of course Frozen related. I put my forehead against the door frame and listened to her cry, letting my own tears fall.

She settled down almost right away and fell asleep. I cried for at least half an hour.

I hate days like this, especially when they happen on one of my days off. I try to make my “weekend” special time with her, try to take her somewhere fun or do something different. And today we sat around in our pajamas being crabby all day.

I was feeling totally discouraged and like I was a completely crappy mother.

But then this tiny little voice in my head said “Everybody has bad days. Just make tomorrow better. Don’t beat yourself up over it, it accomplishes nothing.”

So, today sucked. But tomorrow won’t. Tomorrow will be better.