Firsts

Firsts

We are moved into our new apartment, barring a few items that still need to be moved from my in-laws house to here, and I am very excited. It feels so nice to have our own apartment again, and I am going to turn on my music and dance around the living room the first chance that I get.

Last night, for the first time since B was born, she slept in her own room. I cried a little, not gonna lie. And I still can’t figure out if I was crying because I was so happy to finally be able to provide her with her own room, or if I was sad that she wasn’t going to be in our room anymore. Either way, I cried.

I had the baby monitor turned up really loud in our room. I was really nervous that I wouldn’t wake up for her if she needed me. Of course, this was a ridiculous fear. The very first time she made a tiny sound, I sat bolt upright in bed and was ready to fly across the apartment to her bedroom. 🙂

She slept fine. She woke up once at about 4:30 in the morning. Her diaper was wet, but I also think she may have been cold, so I added another layer of clothes after I changed her diaper, gave her a hug and a kiss, put her down, and she went right back to sleep.

In the last two weeks or so, she has refused to be rocked to sleep anymore. She allows you to rock her for a minute or two, but then she wants to be in her crib and puts herself to sleep. I know this is a healthy development, and that I should be happy I don’t have to rock her for an hour on nights she is restless and fighting sleep, but really my heart is aching a bit. I can’t believe how fast she is growing up.

Another first happened just minutes ago. I was trying to rock her to put her down for a nap (she has still been wanting to be rocked for naps, just not for bedtime), and she started fighting me, so I put her down in her crib. But then she was trying to turn it into a game and wasn’t laying down, and I was getting frustrated…so I walked out and shut the door.

She immediately started crying, and I really wanted to rush back in and pick her up and kiss her and tell her it was okay, but I was too frustrated, and I knew she needed to sleep. So, also for the first time ever when I was trying to get her to sleep, I let her cry.

She only cried for maybe a minute, then calmed down. I heard her “talking” to her stuffed puppy, and then she went to sleep.

Darn. She doesn’t need me so much anymore.

And now that she is asleep I should be finishing unpacking the kitchen, but I’m sitting on my brand new couch, feeling sad about my daughter growing up instead. She will be 16 months old in 2 days! Where has the time gone?

First Time Mommy
(Wanting to Turn Back Time)