My husband had his work schedule get changed on him again, so now he works 1:30 to 10:00PM. Which means that I am suddenly working mornings for the first time since I went back to work when B was 7 months old. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this…it cuts down on the time I am home with B during the day, and it’s hard to not be there when she wakes up, when she’s eating breakfast and lunch, when she goes down for her nap. I feel even less like a stay-at-home mom now, even more like a working mom.
It’s silly, since I am probably going to be working about the same number of hours, and if you subtract the two hour nap B takes during the day, I’m really spending about the same amount of time with her as I was before…maybe an hour less. But it feels like a LOT less time. I miss her little face all day long.
One good thing is that I get her AFTER her afternoon nap now…when she’s all bubbly and energetic and ready to play. That’s new. Most of our mornings are pretty mellow, with just a little playing and a lot of sleepy grumpiness and breakfast and lunch and naps. Afternoons are her I AM AWAKE time, and now, for the first time in a long time, I get to enjoy that more than twice a week on my days off. And that has been wonderful and refreshing. I feel closer to her than I have in a couple of months. It’s hard for me to enjoy my time with her when I’m trying to stick to a schedule so I can get ready for work and get her out the door. Coming home from work and spending unhurried and relaxed time with her has been a nice change.
The other BIG, HUGE, GINORMOUSLY WONDERFUL change is that I am home for bedtime. Nearly every night! (Two days a week, when D is off of work, I am still occasionally working the late shift.) For those of you who have followed my blog from the beginning (way back when we were still MisAdventures of a New Mom), you’ll know that’s a HUGE deal for me. I am SO happy to have the chance to once again have that special time before bedtime with my girl. Bathtime, storytime, bedtime…it’s mine again! I get to snuggle her close and recite the Muppet Babies Nightlight book from memory while she turns the glowing pages for me. I get to rock her and sing to her and tell her I love her and have her snuggle into me like I’m the most comfortable place to sleep in the whole world, and I get to do it five days out of seven, at minimum. I am so grateful.
This may not be a permanent shift for David, so this may just be for a few weeks, but even if it is, I’m going to enjoy every minute of it that I can…and try not to think about the sleepy morning routines that I’m saying goodbye to for now. It is so hard for me…I feel like I need to have it all and I can’t! There’s not enough hours in the day. I can’t have mornings with her AND nights, and that’s just not fair. I want both, and afternoons and overnights, too! 🙂 But at least I have time with her. At least I have a happy, healthy, well-loved little girl.
Ack! I always revert to complaining. I’m a stay-at-home mom at heart, what can I say?! I’ll try to be good.
I will say that when I got home from that first early shift and my mother-in-law brought her to the door and Briana saw me getting out of the car and started waving and wiggling to get down, and she came straight to me once I was inside, and I scooped her up and gave her a hug and she wrapped her little arms around my neck and then planted a big ole kiss on me when she pulled back…that made my heart smile. Moments like that make my world go ’round. The best part of being a mom is getting to experience that level of pure love. Uncomplicated and overwhelming. It’s amazing.
Anyway, I’m getting tired…and I have to work in the morning!
I’ll try to get a blog up again a little after Christmas to talk about our Christmas adventures. We’re going to try to take B for Santa Claus pictures this weekend!