Tantrums, Teething, and Transitions, oh my!

Tantrums, Teething, and Transitions, oh my!

Are babies and children born knowing how to throw temper tantrums? I kind of always assumed they learned how to do it from other children at daycare or while at other peoples houses, but my daughter is not in daycare and is rarely around other children…and in the last week she has suddenly learned how to throw a true toddler temper tantrum!

Today she was playing with my schedule that I had printed out from work. I gave it to her to keep her from ripping up my sister-in-laws college homework that was sitting on our couch. I didn’t mind if she ripped the schedule, because I already knew what my schedule was. But then she started eating it, so I told her no and took it away, intending to rip off the wet portion so she couldn’t easily eat it, and then hand it back. Before I could hand it back however, she went from happily smiling and laughing to throwing herself forward, face-down on the carpet, and screaming and waving all her little limbs around everywhere. 

…Um, okay?

Where do they learn this stuff? She certainly didn’t learn it from me. My tantrums tend to involve a lot of swear words and angry faces, but I haven’t thrown myself on the floor like a toddler since…well…I don’t remember when, so probably when I was a young kid. πŸ™‚

And anyway, she’s only a year old! I thought tantrums didn’t come until later. Am I doing something wrong? Is it normal for a child to throw tantrums at this age? It’s just so WEIRD. I feel like I must have done something to encourage it.

She does have a lot of teeth coming in right now. She just had her second upper front tooth come in, and one of her cuspid teeth just popped through. I think another one is coming in on the bottom as well, poor kiddo. And we’re switching her from Enfamil Gentlease formula to Toddler Transition formula, and it’s giving her a bit of gas. (As soon as we’re done transitioning her to the Toddler stuff, we’ll start transitioning her to whole milk after a month or so, but I wanted to give her tummy a stepping stone between the broken down proteins and full on cows milk. Laugh if you want, but I’m a first time mom and allowed to be silly sometimes.)

Her daddy started a new job last week (YAY YAY YAY YAY) and we took a trip down to Oregon this last weekend, so her schedule has been very out of whack too, and she’s adjusting to a lot. I suppose that could be contributing to the tantrums. It just sort of surprised me, especially today. Today was rough. She kept going from my happy smiley kiddo to a raving Tantrum Toddler in .2 seconds flat! I was sort of at a loss! (Not to mention trying not to laugh…I’ve never seen her act that way before!) I reacted as compassionately as one can react when one is trying not to laugh at some other persons distress.

The other thing is, she keeps getting into the cabinets. I know this isn’t her fault, she’s curious, but we are living in my in-laws house, and they have a lot of cleaners and toxic stuff in bottom cabinets that are within her reach. They have purchased cabinet locks but not installed them, and since it isn’t my house, I feel like I would be overstepping if I asked them to hurry up and install them, or if I just installed them myself. But today while I was cleaning up a mess in the living room, she crawled into the kitchen, and by the time I took off and caught her, she had the dishwasher soap out of the cupboard and was about to chew on the lid (which is covered in soap). Not THE most toxic thing she could be getting into, but not safe, either. I scared the crap out of the poor child when I snatched her away from it and half shouted “NO, B, NO!” She started to cry big crocodile tears and wailed, and I felt terrible, but I don’t want her getting into stuff! She settled down as soon as I cuddled her close and pointed out a bird that had landed in the yard, but it made me feel bad for quite a bit longer than that. (Mommy guilt in action!)

I think Thursday or Friday (when I have the days off), I will ask them if I can install them. It’s a safety issue, so I have the right to ask, right? I hate living in someone else’s house. If I lived in my own, I would have installed them back in September and it wouldn’t be an issue! πŸ˜› I’ll get over it. I’m grateful that they opened their home to us, I just feel frustrated that I don’t feel like I should be installing the safety locks without their permission. Does that make sense? They DID put safety covers on all the outlets as soon as we moved in, so I am grateful for that.

Some random updates for you:

~B has five teeth now: two front bottom, two front top, and one upper left cuspid tooth

~B doesn’t take two naps anymore, just one, from about 10AM to noon

~B is still taking a bottle, mainly because there have been so many changes going on, I decided it was too chaotic right now to wean her off of the bottle. Once we get into a routine with D’s new job and everything, we’ll give it a go.

~B’s favorite food in the whole wide world right now is pasta. God forbid she catches sight of it before you are done cooking it. It’s not a pretty thing!

~I can’t think of another one right now because I am so tired, but I felt like the list should have five things, so here you go…five things! πŸ™‚

I’m sorry this isn’t much of a blog tonight, but the tantrum thing has really been on my mind lately. If you have any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it!

Keeping on with Mommyhood

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2 thoughts on “Tantrums, Teething, and Transitions, oh my!

  1. I like lifewithpinkprincesses answer. DON’T give in, that is the only advice I have to give. I think she is right on with tantrums…at least the start of them. Big thing is, how you handle them is how long they will last. The quicker that she realizes that it does no good, the faster she will stop. Not that it is easy by any means. I do think that they just know…it’s natural, not learned. Swearing is learned, throwing yourself on the floor and flailing about, innate. They only thing I can say to make you feel better about it at all is this….due to my daughter’s delays, she was WAY behind in tantrum throwing. She didn’t even begin to try to throw tantrums (crying, screaming, shrieking…yes, but throwing ones self on the ground kicking and screaming…none) until she was 4 years old. When it started happening, I was actually happy about it. I know, sounds weird, but one thing my daughters Early Intervention teacher told me, is there are stages to growing, and all kids even if they are delayed following the same basic stages in order. Her throwing temper tantrums, showed me that she was growing. Knowing that she should have done the tantrum thing years earlier, I was ecstatic that she was finally there. While I know it’s not easy in the moment of the tantrum, try to keep in mind that her doing so means she is growing and learning. She is within a normal stage. It’s really a great thing, though it may not seem it right now. Lastly, always remember…this too shall pass. πŸ™‚

    I think that reason it’s innate, is because honestly, the only tool babies are born with is a skill to manipulate. I don’t mean that badly, it’s what they have to do to have their needs met. Think about it, they cry and they get picked up, feed, changed. They learn quick, if I cry, I am taken care of. The logical next step, when crying doesn’t get what it is they want (and what they want soon turns to things other than needs) is to throw a tantrum. Plus, there has to be some anger there and they have to learn how to express their displeasure. All of sudden you aren’t giving them what they want, and they are use to you providing for their every whimper. It is all pretty logical when you sit back and look at the big picture. Again, it doesn’t make living through the tantrums any easier, but at least you know the causes and reasons, and again…that it is all normal.

    As far as the locks go, you bet your sweet bippy that you are entitled to ask for the locks to be put on. Tell them you caught her in the cabinet chewing on some dish soap. It’s a safety issue. Also, I think as a mom…it’s your duty to speak up for her when you need to, even when it’s hard and uncomfortable. I think that you’ll be fine and they will understand…if they wouldn’t I don’t think they would have bought the locks to begin with. Good luck Jess, and find and use your voice! I don’t think the in laws will be upset at all.

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